Tomorrow marks 3 years since my second miscarriage. I'm still amazed at how deep the hurt goes. I only knew Jenson for a week or so, and I only saw him for a minute, if that; but God used him to change me and grow me in so many ways. My faith is deeper, richer, more dependent because of his existence. I can't wait to meet Jenson in heaven one day. I tell him, "I'll be there in just a minute!" Please lift me up tomorrow. I have some plans that should keep me busy for a large portion of the day, but on the anniversaries, I always try to spend some time remembering my babies. Anastasia, our first, will have her 13th birthday on April 26. I love the new life outdoors that arrives in April; I hate this month because of the losses it marks for me.
I attended the Ladies' Retreat at Falls Creek just the weekend before losing Jenson. God introduced me to this sweet song that weekend, and it was really helpful through my grief. It used to be so hard to sing it in church, but God . . . He makes beautiful things.
All these scriptures have become so precious to me during these last 3 years.
Consider it pure joy, my sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I Peter 1:6-7
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.